I finished up The Raven's Gift this morning. It's one of the best novel I have ever read. I like these lines by a character named Red:
"'No,' he said, 'I'm plumb tuckered out. You wouldn't understand it, but I spent a good majority of the last thirty some years planning and preparing for the world to end. When it did, I was going to be ready with guns-a-blazing. Wasn't going to want for nothing. And I was about half excited when it came, to tell you the truth. But I didn't ever want it to just be me all by myself. I think I wanted people to be sorry they didn't listen to me. I imagined that they would flock to me and ask for forgiveness. Shit, I deluded myself into thinking that I would be like some gun-toting god of the tundra and finally get to have my say about how lift ought to be. Turns out, I'm the one feeling sorry. This definately ain't the outcome I envisioned. But I probably don't have to tell you about survivor's guilt.'" (pg. 140, The Raven's Gift)
There are times when I catch myself thinking this way. It's starting to atrophy though.