Monday, March 09, 2015

Million Dollar Bill

Yesterday, I pulled up to one of last mailboxes on the mail-route and there was a man that looked to be in his early seventies standing there. As I was getting the car positioned I noticed him reach into his back pocket, pull out a wallet, open it up and retrieve a bill. I got the window rolled down, he greeted me warmly and handed me a one million dollar bill. "Here is a million dollars," he said "for delivering my mail today. On the back is some important words about the go...spel." I told him thank you and I'd be sure to read it. Here is what it said:

"The million dollar question: Will you go to Heaven when you die? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Jesus said, 'Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already commited adultery with her in his heart.' Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgement Day? If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving blasphemous, adulterer at heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell. That's not God's will.

"He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you. You broke God's law, but Jesus paid your fine. That means He can legally dismiss your case. He can commute your death sentence: 'For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.' Then Jesus rose from the dead and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus alone, and God will grant you the gift of everlasting life. Then read your Bible daily and obey it."

The next time he tries to hand me some fake money I'm going to tell him that I've joined the William Blake Cult, and we've married Heaven and Hell. Then I'm going to quote Blake:

"Prisons are built with stones of Law, Brothels with bricks of Religion.
The pride of the peacock is the glory of God.
The lust of the goat is the bounty of God.
The wrath of the lion is the wisdom of God.
The nakedness of woman is the work of God.
Excess of sorrow laughs. Excess of joy weeps."-- William Blake

I've grown to despise sin-based theology.

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